she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
