I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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