True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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