Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
