i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
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You're a waste of cheezeits
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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