ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
