yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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