whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
