I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
