I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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