I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize