At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize