let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
