o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize