I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
