I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
