girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
