My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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