I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
