the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
