I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your cock deserves a montage
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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