So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
