i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
