It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
