I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
