They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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