I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
