I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
All I want is dick and wine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
