Screwed.edu
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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