Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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