my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
