I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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