my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize