He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
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i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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