I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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