I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't turn off my feet"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
