there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
