Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
