i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
