Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
