"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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