ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
