I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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