Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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