I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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