Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
