Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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