Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
