drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
