fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize