Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Someone signed my nipple.
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