ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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