he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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