you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
