My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You can't just leave with hair like that
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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