Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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