Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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