Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
