The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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