I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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