Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
