he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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