I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
