Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize