I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
